Monday, October 22, 2012

A Hero's Handshake

Shake my hand like a man!


I did say please. After all, a handshake is meant to be polite and I am a lady. But for crying out loud, whether you choose to call me a lady, lady-like, female, woman or whatever, we're in the 21st century dudes. Don't insult me...or yourself.

Sorry if I'm coming off a bit strong. Let me backtrack here, and apologize to all you women out there who prefer a feeble handshake from a man., and I'm all for a guy (or anyone) being gentle if they know someone's hands are fragile for whatever reason. I'm talking about the average modern woman though. I do understand that in certain cotillion circles, guys are taught to shake a woman's hand by barely holding the tips of her fingers. They're taught that this is respectful, and I can see where that comes from, but...

I hate that with a passion. Call it a pet peeve. I like me a firm handshake. Not bone crushing or overpowering, but one that indicates equality. To me, a solid handshake in this day and age tells me that the man respects me. Sees me as an equal. Will do business with me on equal footing. I don't care if I'm about to contract someone for work at the house, meeting a business person, a friend of a friend, nothing emasculates a man in my eyes more than when he gives me the limp, finger tip shake. The shake that says:

"I don't really want to touch your hand, but I'm supposed to, so I'll do it half-assed."

"You might have cooties. Gotta run and soon as you're not looking."

"I'm a king and you're my subject. Poo on you."

"May I have this dance?" (Followed by a bow of course. Where's the ballroom?)

Seriously, I do understand that a woman is supposed to extend her hand first. That's empowering. A man doesn't get to shake her hand unless she grants him the opportunity. But beyond that, I think a man's handshake says a lot about him. Of course, you can't really tell what's under all that muscle (or lack of) based on mere hand contact, but you know how first impressions go. I want the handshake of a hero. A man's man. I even pay attention to handshake descriptions in novels. The fingertip shake is perfect in a historical novel, but in a contemporary it turns me off like a sloppy kiss.

Women of the world unite. Spread word and teach our men and sons how to execute the 'hero's handshake'.


  1. I am so onboard with this that I wish I would have been the one to think to blog about it - LOL!

  2. YES!! No dead fish handshakes please!!
    Can't stand that.

  3. I've always preferred a strong handshake, but I developed arthritis in my hands a couple of years ago and now if someone shakes my hand too hard it is agony when the joints get dislocated.

    I would rather people not shake hands if their hands sweat though.

  4. Carol - LOL. This has happened too many times to me in the past month, so it was eating at me.

    Jennifer - Dead fish...exactly! LOL.

    Maria - I totally understand. I don't want any knuckle grinding or anything too hard, it's more in the amount of hand contact. The way the hands come together. Whole wrap vs finger tips.

    Now, there are times...or seasons...where I'd be happy to nix the hand contact all together. After all, where have the hands(or fingers)been? Some folks still sneeze in their hands instead of into their elbows. Give me a smile and I'm good. But that's a whole different post LOL.

  5. I have a strong grip, so I hate wimpy handshakes. And from a guy? Never!!!!