Monday, September 26, 2011

Language Laugh

Some of you may have already read this take on the english language. I have, but it makes me smile every time I come across it. I have no clue who wrote it, but I dare say they have a creative gene :).

The English Language

Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?

Let's face it

English is a stupid language.

There is no egg in the eggplant

No ham in the hamburger

And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.

English muffins were not invented in England

French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted

But if we examine its paradoxes we find that

Quicksand takes you down slowly

Boxing rings are square

And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea

If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.

If the plural of tooth is teeth

Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth

If the teacher taught,

Why didn't the preacher praught.

If a vegetarian eats vegetables

What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?

Why do people recite at a play

Yet play at a recital?

Park on driveways and

Drive on parkways

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy

Of a language where a house can burn up as

It burns down

And in which you fill in a form

By filling it out

And a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers

And it reflects the creativity of the human race

(Which of course isn't a race at all)

That is why

When the stars are out they are visible

But when the lights are out they are invisible

And why it is that when I wind up my watch

It starts

But when I wind up this observation,

It ends.

On that note, I need to disappear in my manuscript. I'll pop around if I manage to come up for air. Otherwise, I hope everyone has a great week!


  1. Hi Rula ~ this or something like this always gives me a laugh when I read it.

    Good luck with the manuscript.

  2. Hi Rula. My great nephews and their aunt were having a discussion about nieces and nephews. The youngest one was sitting on the floor looking very perplexed. My niece asked him what was the matter. He pointed at his knees and said nieces and then looked at her and asked Nephews?

  3. Hey Kaelee, that's adorable! Out of the mouths of babes :). More english language trickery ;).

  4. I used to work with a man from India and he would laughingly complain to me how weird our language is. He would say, 'Why do you say "o" for a number? You should said "zero"." I guess he had a point. LOL

  5. Hi Rula ~ Here's a link to some gluten free recipes.

  6. Okay, I'm trying to post a blogger comment for the umpteenth time in the past few days and it just deletes them. That's why there's no new post today. Let's see if it works this time...

    Jennifer - I'm guilty of that, LOL!

    Kaelee - Thanks for the link!